There is a theme in Dr. John Gottman’s relationship research that keeps resurfacing:
Friendship is the foundation of thriving relationships.
Having an active sense of friendship with your spouse is correlated with increased effectiveness in communication, decreased divorce rates, and lays the groundwork for developing a sense of meaning in your marriage. We’ll discuss all of these topics in later blogs.
So, how do you become friends with your spouse again?
The first step to friendship is feeling known.
Over the years, when couples feel at ease with one another, it may become easy to assume your partner’s perspective. The alternative to this is discussed in this week’s video:
What is your favorite movie/tv show/sports team/music/website right now?
Who do you really enjoy spending time with these days? Why?
What is your favorite Thanksgiving dish?
What were the holidays like for you growing up? Did you have any traditions?
What’s an ideal Saturday for you? Why?
What did you really enjoy doing together this past year?
And the most important question, is: Are you ready to build a friendship with your spouse?
Licensed Marriage and Family Thearpist
P.S. – Do you feel that you and your partner could benefit from relationship counseling or marriage therapy? You don’t have to wait – it is always a good time for a Relationship Tuneup. If you live in Monrovia, Arcadia, Covina, Altadena, Pasadena, or other nearby cities, book your first session by clicking on the link below! I look forward to connecting with you soon.